Niste randuri se scris

Si azi am vorbit cu Matusa! Cu Mama! Cu Sora - asa s' asa... :P Si vai, ce zi. LUNGA! Plin de up n downs... (Si cu mestecuri, de toate feluri!) Cu calatorii, in gand, si in cateva zile in picoare!

Maduc In CANADAAAAAAAAAAA! Nu imi vine sa cred! Maine - la voi deja azi :P - termin cu munca! Experiante mare, si o calatoie in luma mea descoperita, hoai, ce mare! Cred ca niciodata in viata mea n-am chieltuit atat de mult in cat am reusit in lunele astea. Da a avut rost.
 Si oricum, da mai vin.

Imi strang energiile sa scriu despre TOT, ce e si a fost ai - mai mult.

"Iubirica" :)

Bateria consumata

N-am reusit sa-mi tin cuvantu. Si n-am scris cum zicam mai devreme. (Si acuma s' motivata de timp si de bateriile laptopului e care il folosesc ...)
Ultimii ultimii vin acuma.
 Saptamana trecuta a fost ultima saptamana a taberei oficiala, ale lui Friendship Ventures, si mai sunt 2, asta in care suntem noi, si va termina maine (la Voi: azi), si taberele "Get away", cu numa cateva persoane in tabara, sub 40 - fata de mai mult de 200...
 Ultima saptamana va fi cu cei care au venit peste organizatia, care mi-a dat posibilitatea sa vin, CL. Si ultima saptamana de munca.
 Nu pot descrie lunele trecute cu cuvinte.
 Cu siguranta: am facut rost de muschi. *Sefu meu poa' sa fie mandru de mine! Si Voi! :)PP*
Si de niste kilograme in plus. *Mai ales pe burta - care inseamna ca tre' sa gasesc o grupa unde sa dansez "belly dance"? ;)
  Si ca am nevoie sa fiu ingrijorata cu mainile si picioarele (mai ales de genuchi...) mele, si sa ma apuc de ceva miscare. Corpu meu e un disastru, chiar daca nu mi-a afecteaza sanatatea ...nu inca.
 Si de multe ori ma gandeam la expresia, care a folosit Mamaie de f-f-f-foarte multe ori; "curg apele pe mine." (Mi-e dor de Tine, mereu. Nu numa daca Te aud. Esti, cu noi, mereu.)

Tre' sa fiu mai responsabil pentru pasi mei. (Mama, te rog, si iti cer scuze pentru toate teme pe care ti-am facut ...nu direct, niciodata. Si chiar daca te sperii acuma, e "turn"-u meu, sa ma asez pe picoare...)
Ce inseamna distanta. In viata. Si in viata mea.

Saptamana gluten-free: (cuvinte care mi-aduc aminte de ce vreau sa scriu...)
Mamaie si matusa intr-o persoana. - Minneapolis -
 Nu munci, da fiind parte al familiei, care ma acceptat. Sanse noi. Inima plina. Prieteni si solicitate. 
Talent.
Drum.
Vine toamna.

In 9 zile va fi in Canada. In Vancouver. (Anu viitor la Toronto. Promit pentru mine.)
 Intr-o luna va fi acasa. Oriunde inseamna asta sa fie. Inapoi in bancile scoli. Si serviciului. Orice va fie. Va fi alesa de mine.

Planuri. Mare. Mele. Desenate. De dat mai departe. Cu limbi, cu dragoste. Pentru viata, spre oameni.

Nu-ti fie grije, voi descurca.
 Ca-s' din sangele Tau, si din al Tau, si al Tau.

"It's a good day to die"

Daca ar trebui sa aleg o zi cand sa vina ultima, a fi o zica astazi. Energetic, emotionata, cu soare si cu vant, sus si in jos...

Keep your chin up - Jo says.

Primu postare in dou limbi. (Incercare, numaru 1.)
Trei zile de acum am avut un apel nepreluat de Mama. Iar dupa acea un mesaj vocala(?).
"Imi face grije ca nu stiu nimic despre Tine."
>>>Si asa e. Nimeni, nimic, (numai pe face' sa imi fie rsine ca scriu acolo, da nu mail-rui, ghh :)) ) <<<


Deci, incep sa incep. Mi mult de o luna am fost trimis la tabara noua, tabara Noua Sansa. Il ador! Suta la suta!  Imi era frica la inceput, da acuma dupa 5 saptamani petrecute acolo, mi-a fost (si inca imi e si acuma...) sa vin inapoi, sa fiu aici.
 Atat de multe lucruri sau schimbat... Si nu numa in directia buna. Da o sa imi pun picioarele numa pe soseaua buna, cu zambeturi, chiar daca ... Nu e chiar daca! :)P
 Da fara regreturi! Toate 5 saptamani au fost mi nu na te! O sansa si noroc mare am cu locu asta, si ca eu am fost trimis aici. Singura din Ungaria, da nu singura din Europa. (Doar din Scotia, Irlanda, Anglia, Noua Zelanda!! Nemaipomenite de persoane.)


In primi saptamani au fost tabere cu oameni cu handicap. Da frumosi, si dragi. Catodata grele de ocupat. Da fiindca e o tabara mititica (cel mai multe oameni am avut cu 50 persoane cu staff cu tot.), si cu mare sansa de a cunoaste toti oameni.
 Si asa s-a si intamplat. Toti le stieau numele ... O bucurie e sa fi stiut ca persoana dupa nume, dupa rol. Nu numa "aia, cine face asta si asta".


 Niciodata nu mi-au multumit nimic ce am facut ca in timpu trecut. Counselor-i - mie, cine spale numa vasele. (Si altele, da restu nu "se vede", nu in fata, si asta a fost cea mai mare legatura intre noi. La inceput.)
 Si poate muncesc mai mult acolo, da sufletu meu are mai mult timp de respirat. Si de imbratisat. De zambi si de fi bucuros.
 Sunt fericita. Foarte, foarte. Nu numa aici, da mereu. Ca am motive de zice asta. Sunt o norocoasa. Pentru toate lucrurile intamplate in viata mea. Pentru oameni, locuri, sanse si distante - care nu exista numa in harte... Simt iubita de Viata.
 Si senzatia asta numa sa inlagrit in timp ce sunt aici.
 Am invatat sa plutesc, sa sari depe trambulina de apa - cu spate (si sunt super mandra de asta!!:) ) :

Si chiar daca n-am aparat de fotografii, inima mea e plin de poze facute de bucuria vazuta si simtita aici.

 Am avut sansa sa ma imprietenesc cu niste oameni nespus de frumosi. Si ma bucura gandu, ca Ei exista in Lumea asta, chiar daca "departe", da mi-au facut sa imi cantu sufletu. Mi-au facut sa simt, sunt parte de grupa, chiar daca nu sunt parte de grupa... :) Counselor-ilor.

(Si as vrea sa vin inapoi vara viitoare, daca pot si ma simt pregatita destul, si vin, ca un counselor.)

 Mi-au aratat si invatat mi de lucruri, mi-au colorat inima si bluzele. Am inlargit gandurile mele despre libertate, despre distante, prieteni, iubire, religie, si diferente. In toate.

 Si voi duce in Canada!!! Da acuma nu la familie, doar la o prietena mea buna. 

> Un lucru, care intra in minusu Americi: nunta Panelor. Ziua aia a fost lacrimoasa pentru mine. Si am fost cam cu capu in nori, si cu sufletu depaaaaarte, ca Romania. Dansand si petrecand timpu in biserica, dupa si inainte nunti. Nunta, la care am vrut sa fiu asa de mult, de nu puteam sa fiu... Life's irony.

Sunt prea obosita acuma sa continu, da promit, ca oi scrie mai mult acuma. Am vrut sa dau un semn de viata. Mai traiesc!!! :)

<3

***

English version

First bilingual post would this be. (Trying to... # 1.)

Three days ago I got a missed call. From Mother.

"I'm worried about You, I haven't heard anything from You recently, call me."

So, gonna start with the start. More than a month ago i've been sent to another camp, Camp Now Hope, which i adore. 100%!

When I left from here I was afraid to leave, and now, leaving New Hope, I was afraid to come. So many things has changed, and not only in one directions. Good and bad too.

But I'm gonna put my legs on the positive way and smiley one even if... no even if-s! :)

But without any regrets! All the past 5 weeks were won-der-ful! A truely new hope and chance was it for me to get to that place, to be sent there. That it was me, who had that luck. The only one from Hungary, but not only from Europe. (But from Scotland, England, Ireland and New Zealand too! Beautiful people. :))

 In the first weeks there were "regular" special needs camps, first 3 weeks. Nice and kind campers. And because the small size of the camp (at maximum number we had about 50 campers) it was a bigger chance to get to know the people around us.

And that was how it happened. everybody knew everybody else's name. It was so glad to be known as the person behind the role, behind the nametag, to be known as who i am. :)

 I wasn't thanked so many times as here. Never before. By the counselors. For me, who "only" does the dishwashing (ok, and many more unseen by the "public" eyes, but that's not the point int the moment...), because that was the biggest connection in the first couple days. Receiving and bringing the dishes to me. :)

 And maybe i have to work more there, but my soul is fed much more than in the First camp. I can feel that even after long hours of work my heart can breathe, because it's cared. But it's because of the people, i got to know there.

*Thank for All of You.*

I am happy. Very, very, very happy. Not just here, but always, any place. Because I got reasons to tell that. I'm a lucky one. For all the things happened, all the people i got to know in my life and even the distances - what doesn't exist, only on maps.  I feel loved by Life.

 And this feeling has only enlarged in my heart since I'm here.

 I've learned how to soar, on the sky, on the water, in other's hearts and to let more and more myself into other's world. And to jump back flips!!! So proud of it!

And even if I haven't captured a single photo because of the lack of having a camera... (ouh, you silly!:P), my heart had made soooooooooo many good shots, by glad moments and feelings!

 I had the chance to meet so many, so beautiful people. And the thought of Their existence makes my heart lighter and the World softer and safer to live in. Loving. Even if They are far. But not from my heart. Made it sing, and dance. And feeling that I'm part of the group, of the "Village". Of coulselor's. :)

 (And I'd love to come back next summer as a counselor if I'll have the chance and the feeling that I could prepare myself - in every meaning - for challenging myslef and coming back as. They've showed and taught me so many things, gave me and coloured me with so many shades of the rainbow and my shirts. Enlarged my sight of world, about Life, love, friends, even religion. And differences. In everythings.  And I'm gonna go to Canada!!!

> One minus of America's : missing the beautiful event of my darling dear family reunion, the "Feather-wedding". Which day was a tearful one for me. Away from the actual place i was, away as far is Romania is. Were dancing in my soul there, but my mind was way further than camp...  The wedding, where I longed to be so much and wasn't there so ...unfair. Life's irony. Giving a big chance and taking a big price for it. But both of them never again chances. But my family is still my family, and my heart is always with Them. And what would be sad to be just connected by blood is NOT happening in the romanian side of mine.

 My soul is linked to Theirs. To You, dear blue-yellow-red coloured souls of mine.

 (Va iubesc. )

I'm way too tired toi continue it right now, but I promise - as my possibilities let me - to write more frequent this week! But now I only wanted to send some life-signs. I'm still alive!!! :)

 <3